The Best of the Worst Christmas Cheer : Football News : Soccer Bible

Ah football at Christmas. The fantastic onslaught of bumper to bumper fixtures, a frosty FA Cup giant killing and the inevitable Match of the Day crowd shot of ten blokes in matching Santa suits while Big Dave has decided to steal the show with his elf outfit. Classic Dave.

A time also in which club by club, a fresh wave of merchandise starts to sweep the footballing landscape. From the peculiar to the practical we salute those decision makers, club by club that have added an array of gems to their bespoke 'Christmas Gifts' category page on their respective online stores. For they have provided stocking fillers and irrelevant tat that deserves a home. So whether it's Big Dave or Tiny Tim here's a few classics that caught our festive flavoured eye.

Above is one for us to get our sweet cheeks in to. Thank heavens from upon high because right on cue, the hoops of Celtic have landed down the slopes with a one of a kind Celtic Sledge. Fresh from the summer holidays, it appears they've filled in the hole of a donut shaped rubber ring and brought a winter wonder to the fore. Praise be.



What could this be under the tree? Better give it a good squidge. It feels like... a place mat? Could it be? That frozen solid Spice Girls greatest hits? No, no. For this good football loving folk is the slate you've always wanted. Back in management but always a Gas head - it's Ian Holloway in his playing days in decorative form. Goodnight Irene, I've got Ian in my dreams. All yours for £9.45.



Oh thank my little devils. '4 to 5 days delivery' is sweet music for the mind. And of course, naturally the words you would associate with a 'Photo Jigsaw Puzzle of A portrait of Manchester United Finance Director Nick Humby'. GET IN. A most contentious item that'll rattle the cage of even the most unaware of United fan considering Nick the Humbster Humby isn't even the Finance Director anymore. A man forever immortalised in Jigsaw form, we'll take at least two. 



If there's one thing for certain it's that the temperature has dropped. Rapidly. One of the more practical elements that we've grown to love and will most certainly turn heads on the golf course is that of 'H'Angus Mascot in golf head cover' fashion. Just look at the pro's - fits all drivers, protects your driver from scratching and has a soft feel mascot head. Oh H'Angus, how we love you. A "real character for your golf bag" Go on the 'pool.



Just wait there a minute. Plymouth Argyle you festive fun-lovers. Stealing the show with a power couple combo, just look at what you can pick up for a combined price of £12 solid English pounds. A cardboard mask of the man between the sticks, Luck McCormick as well as a delightful matchday flatcap that looks perfectly lost in its time zone. We'll absolutely take both and get on board with the Green Army.



Of course, what's Christmas and indeed scrub time without your favourite rubber Duck. Leading the race for best bobble hatted quacker comes all the way from Chesterfield. Donning the accessories - he's a sharp dresser and perfect accompaniment for the scented candles and brimming bubbles. And yes, it's aloe vera.



I mean, it's the mean streets of Macclesfield where it goes down. Only this hat would be more suited to our Trev down the cash and carry. Nothing wrong with that of course. It's probably about time we saw Skepta in one of these. Sharp as they come and crewing up, we call ourselves the Silkmen.



One for the more tech savvy who shalt never be caught short. A Christmas essential of course and lasting the distance, this is a stocking filler that will stand the test of time in powering you from a to b, so long as you are near a USB socket of course. What a dreamboat of a gift. Ideal for transferring files, or hanging yourself. If you're reading this mum, please step away from the buy button.



Finally, a solid instalment that has Christmas well wished written all over it. That's right folks, the Leeds United Ice Scraper. A treat for all year round, it could double up as an Ice Cream scoop in the Summer, naturally. Leeds United owning the practical party, skip Halfords and head to Elland Road, there's Ice Scrapers in the Christmas isle. Just imagine the beaming smile when you get this gem in the Secret Santa. Fun, fun, fun.